Morning of Oct. 30th I installed new updates and restarted. Absolutely no problems in the 8 hours since then when I've been mostly using the browser and transferring files all day. The first update Oct. 27th (with Windows Hello) didn't do a damn thing, but this second update so far seems to have helped, fingers crossed.
To elaborate, I had issues with the track pad, mic, and wifi not working randomly, as well as two Blue Screens with two different errors in the days before.